Together Forever

Alana burst into tears tonight at dinner because school will be out soon. She is upset because she will miss her friends and her teachers. I explained that they will miss her too, but she can still see them sometimes. I also explained that we are going to do fun things during her summer break like going to the pool and the park and taking a trip to Texas. She then started telling me that she was going to grow up and be a mom like me and she was going to miss me (with huge tears in her eyes) -- insert my heart breaking here! I asked her where she was going and why she would miss me. She kept saying she would miss me, but finally said that she was moving to Texas. So, I told her that I would move to Texas with her. She was overjoyed at that idea and eventually had it all planned out that when she grew up she would move to Texas and her entire family would move with her. I told her that we are a family forever and no one is leaving her. That we will all follow her wherever she goes. I think the pending transition at school is freaking her out and she started worrying that her family was going to change as well. She was so happy the rest of the night about us all living in Texas. It was really sweet! I wonder if a lot of adopted children have an extra layer of anxiety related to changing grades each year. I remember my mom telling me that I cried and cried each year when I had to leave my teacher behind only to do the same thing the next year. I went to a small school where there was one class for each grade level. So, I didn't have the extra stress of leaving my friends behind. I'm sure it also never occurred to me that my family would leave me behind as well. Poor Alana has so much more to deal with.

In other news, I am starting to think about homeschooling Alana in the future. It is going so well with Collin that I am wanting very much to homeschool Alana and Dylan too. I'm currently planning to have her attend public school another year though to continue her English as a Second Language services. I am going to use this summer as a test to see how stressful it is having all three kids at home and trying to get a limited amount of schooling done. Alana is already falling behind in kindergarten and I'm having to spend our evenings getting her caught up. Plus, I read the book "Hold On To Your Kids" recently and it had a big impact on me. I've started on a large list of other parenting books to hopefully give me new strategies on connecting with and disciplining my kids. I seem to struggle especially with Alana's spirited personality, but I really want to change that. I'm hopeful that this will all work out for the best and I know that I will never regret spending the extra time with my kids.